Code: Adam

When the kids are around and something comes up with Claire’s mom, we dont refer to her with her name. We’ve chosen another name so Claire doesn’t hear us talking about her mom. We refer to her as Adam.

When we were in Texas, Sean’s parents and Adam had a schedule set and it was basically 50/50. But come September or October, Adam started going through a major depressive state because her boyfriend left her. She started abusing drugs, going out a lot more and Sean’s parents had Claire almost everyday because Adam just didn’t want her. When it was time for us to come back, Adam all of a sudden got clean and started acting like she was the most perfect mother while we were gone. She was very hesitant on letting Sean have Claire and she wasn’t allowed to spend the night for 2 months. 

At the end of April, Adam came to our house to sit and talk with us and just let everything out, which actually did good. We got a 50/50 schedule put in place and a lot of tension was cleared. We agreed to let Adam have Claire on Mother’s Day since it was our weekend. When the time came, she didn’t answer any of our phone calls or texts, so we ended up keeping Claire for the day. Turns out she was in a mental hospital for an entire week and nobody told us. Adam’s dad was taking care of Claire on her days at their house. After that, things started going downhill again. 

Then in June, she messaged Sean saying that she was going out of town for 10 days and asked if we would like Claire for the duration of her being gone. We said of course, but next time, to please give us more than 2 days heads up. We didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing, but she was gone. We talked to her a couple days before she was originally supposed to come back and she said that it would be another week or 2. We were getting a little suspicious, so we filed for custody because lots of people were telling us that they had a feeling she wasn’t coming back. BUT once we told her we filed, she came back instantly. Like literally within 2 days. 

This girl has had over 6 jobs this past year but keeps getting fired because of her attendance. 

This is all just the beginning, and not even a thorough explanation of everything that has happened, but I’m trying to get all the past out, so my potential followers can understand where I/we are coming from regarding future things that happen. 



2310 Silverbrook Lane

Now that you know my frustrations about being judged as a parent on social media, I’ll rewind and tell you about my family and our journey.

Before I met my husband, Sean, I was pretty carefree, didn’t have too many goals and just went with the flow. October 19, 2015 Sean commented on a picture of my cat Pookie and that’s really how we met and started talking. We started dating October 22, 2015 and have really been inseparable since. sean n i

Sean has a daughter from a previous relationship, her name is Claire and she is about to turn 4. When we first started dating, Claire and I had a really close bond but over time, things have gotten rough between us because I’ve had to start taking an authoritative position when I used to just have rely on Sean to do the disciplining.

In December 2015, Sean and I had decided to move to Arlington Texas to better ourselves and our financial situations. We were both in a bad place with our depression and taking the time to get better was what we both needed to be the best for each other and Claire. January 31, 2016 Sean and I learned that we were expecting a child together. I was excited but also scared shitless. I had my heart set on going through with the pregnancy, but Sean wasn’t too sure about it. We talked about it for a couple days and he got on board with keeping the baby, and we were still on track to leave at the end of February for Texas.

Sunday February 28, 2016 we packed up our 2 cars (a Saturn Ion and a Chevy Cobalt) with as much stuff as we could plus the cat Pookie and we headed out. It was a very long 12 hour drive, we stayed in a creepy motel down the street from our new apartment and ordered some burgers to be delivered to us. The next Monday we went to sign our lease and it turns out the girl we talked to on the phone gave us the wrong total and we were short $200 to be able to move in. We sold one of Sean’s guns and finally got the correct amount. We didn’t have much. We didn’t have any furniture. We had a blow up air mattress, kitchen utensils and clothes. That was about it. The apartment had one bedroom, washer and dryer and German Roaches!

Sean got a job within the first week at a car dealership as a detailer, but I couldn’t find one at all. Sean ended up getting me one with the same company he worked with but I was a photographer. We made enough to pay our bills and rent, but not much left over for food. We shopped at the dollar tree and really limited ourselves with what we ate. I ended up getting a different job at a Dog Daycare, but that wasn’t too promising either.

Come April, it was time to find out the gender of our baby! A BOY! Riley Michael Boyer was expected in the middle of September!  Its a boy

Sean also got a new job at Aptive Environmental in April! This job was much better for us financially and he was home at normal hours as to his other job he worked from noon to 8. In May I flew to Denver to watch my Sister in Law, Katie, graduate from pharmacy school! When I landed back in Dallas, SEAN PROPOSED! Then once I got back, I also got offered a job at Aptive and started June 2nd. From June to the beginning of August, not a whole lot happened. August 6th, I turned 21! Woohoo! It was also the day of our baby shower. We drove down to Colorado with our dog Harlie and got SO MUCH STUFF! It all filled our car! It was crazy. Then August 24th, I had my usual doctor appointment for Riley. It turned out he was still measuring small and the doctor didn’t want him staying in any longer just so noting bad started happening, so he set an induction date….TUESDAY AUGUST 30! 6 days away! I called my mom right when we left the doctors office to tell her and she booked a flight that night to come out on Saturday! My stepmom also came out the morning of the 30th.

The morning of the 30th, my doctor told us to arrive at the hospital at 7:30, we got woken up to a call at 6:45 asking where we were because we were supposed to be there at 6:30! We loaded the car and off we went! They got me all hooked up and started the pitocin. Then gave me something to help with the pain, but it also made me sleep! I slept a lot of the day and at some point I got an epidural. The 30th came and went, but I got woken up around 4:30 saying that I was ready to start pushing. 2 HOURS OF PUSHING LATER!

baby boy

August 31, 2016 at 7:03am my beautiful baby boy was born. 22 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing and he was here! As perfect as ever!

After Riley’s birth, nothing really happend. Sean continued to Skype Claire every weekend and we really started having problems with Claire’s mom. Well to be honest, we had conflict with her since the day we left, but things seemed to start getting worse. We were planning to come back for Christmas, but didn’t want to risk it with the snow and everything, so we enjoyed our first Christmas together as a family.

Then March came! We moved back to Colorado, got a 3 bedroom apartment and tried to start working a schedule out so Claire could come with us 50% of the time. Claire transitioning was probably the absolute hardest on our relationship. We went through a whole lot in that month or two and it ultimately almost broke us.

In April, Sean started his job with Aptive again and has been working with them for now over a year and a half! I worked for them for a couple months, but couldn’t stand people being stupid and not learning how to do their job, so I quit. But I really enjoy my time at home with my little guy. Once he turns 2 he’ll be going to school!

In June, we were out of a lot of what we went through and June 19 we got married! Not much else has happened. Lots of drama with Claire’s mom, but that’ll be my next posting, and hopefully a lot shorter than this one. Riley’s first birthday just passed and now we’re just waiting for out next adventure to come along!

First and Foremost

This is the post excerpt.

Recently it has been brought to my attention that people don’t particularly like what I post on social media, whether it be Facebook or Instagram. I’ve gotten complaints of people feeling uncomfortable that I share other blogs of people explaining why it’s so hard being a step parent. I share them because I relate to them. Just because I share them doesn’t mean that I regret meeting my husband and his daughter and absolutely hate being a stepmom. Don’t get me wrong though, there are days I do hate the title. I hate that people judge me for stepping up when I need to BUT they also judge when I back down when I need to. But I’m getting ahead of myself and that’ll be a topic for another post.

Most recently (yesterday) was probably the most frustrating and ridiculous time I’ve been judged since having my son, Riley. For his birthday, we bought him these letters and numbers to play with in the bath. I’ve seen pictures going around Instagram with the bath letters spelling out “Fuck Baths” and I thought it was pretty funny and a good photo opp. So I took the picture and uploaded it on Facebook.  Lots of people thought it was funny and have expressed that they too have done the same thing. BUT my husbands entire family thought the opposite. He got a couple texts saying it was “poor judgement” and “trashy”. A couple people even commented on the photo PUBLICLY shaming my husband and I. Now I have no problem with opinions. You have yours, I have my mine. That’s just how it works. But I will not be publicly humiliated for a parenting choice that I make and that will not affect my child’s future. The picture will be printed out and stored away to look at when he’s much older and has a sense of humor. There is a very slim chance that Riley will see it before I want him to. Does having the word ‘fuck’ above my sons head affect my parenting skills? No. Will this affect his possibility of  getting a good job when it comes time? No. This picture will in NO WAY harm or affect my child negatively. The kid can’t even tell the difference between a 5 and a S.

I fully understand that people have their problems with the picture. At the same time though, I seriously do. not. care. Sean and I are the parents. We get to make the mistakes and decisions regarding our children, and YES you absolutely can judge us behind closed doors, and you can gossip about it until your heart explodes. but do not expect us to change something you don’t like. If it were harming him or putting him in any danger, sure I could respect you getting upset. But something so little, is a little over the top.

At the end of the day, this will not be the last picture I take or post like this. Just always keep in the back of your mind, I do not care about your opinion, and I know I am a DAMN GOOD parent and your opinions of me or my husband do not affect what we do or how we do it.

fuck baths